An Opposition (Sorry T.S. Eliot)

A favorite poet of mine, T.S. Eliot for those who know of him, once said 'sometimes things become possible if we want then bad enough.' 

I have come through these years to realize just how wrong he was about that particular standing point. Sometimes, things will never happen no matter how many times or how hard you wish for them. And that is best realized at the beginning to prevent further heart-break in the future. Sometimes, most of the times, things pass and move on for a reason, no matter how foolish. It shows a tremendous fool whom wishes for the things that she can never attain. Which, is I have learned, is easier said than done. 

But, sometimes, my dear Eliot, you must acknowledge that we cannot bridge some gaps in this world, and in the next, or that alternate one where you feel that everyone but you is in. Sometimes, it is necessary to mourn. You have lost something vital to you, and simply wanting it back, even trying to get it back, will not make it so.  At times, when there is nothing left to do, mourning is a good thing to do, to expediences. Some of us who have lost parts of us to the unkind worlds, need to mourn. Because when you mourn for something or someone that you have lost, it brings them closer to you, in an odd way. At that moment, as you cry, you get a little closer to understanding how much you have really lost. In those moments, the people around you realize the depth of your loss. As another one of my favorite authors, Jeanette Winterson, has once said, 'this hole in my heart is the shape of you, and no one else can fit it. Why would I want them to?' 

So, you see that losing someone, and mourning them is not only not being ungrateful, but it is also not a textbook subject. You can diagnose and match one person's grief to another's, because no one has lost that person exactly like another has. You cannot simply put a label on someone grieving, because you do not know what it is like, even if you have experienced some time similar. Taking a long time to finish grieving is not something to be looked down upon. That is the time it takes someone to work through the course of their grief. 

And now, T.S., we cannot wish something back to us, no matter how hard we want it. We may only try our hardest to get to it, and if not, then we are best accept it, and start the grieving process, as the longer that you put it off, the strong and longer it will grow.